Tuesday, January 18th, I set off the alarm in my dorm by opening a door I apparently was not supposed to. Not my fault the sign was not up! And then 2 minutes later I slipped on a patch of ice and wiped out. By patch of ice I mean the whole of everything ground was frozen. And it was terrifying. I went to the whole deal of financial aid, IDs and getting my mailbox key. Then I hid in my dorm all day. That night Andy said I should come to dinner instead, so I did. Met people there, came back to my dorm, met a lot of the girls in my hall. All in all. Tuesday was a boring blog.
Wednesday, however, was awesome. Woke up to see the sunrise and get breakfast with my new friend Emily. Went to Chapel, which was nice, then had my People and Culture of Latin America class. It seems awesome. I have two professors, a wife and husband team, which is interesting. They made us homemade cupcakes. Then had Global Engagement with the Head of the Department of Cross Cultural Studies. I am going to love that class, as well. Had a break, dinner, and the Old Testament Lit, which I think I may be the only person in the class who is stoked for it to get started.
Okay. Enough blabbing about the boring details. I am going to talk about the thoughts developed. And....hopefully I avoid offending anyone. But I want to be transparent.
I love God. All of Him. The Trinity. I love His Bible. With my whole entire heart. He is my lifeline, my provider, my source of love, patience, kindness and the rest of the Fruit. My passion for learning of Him is unquenchable, but so satisfying. And having my spiritual growth happen in less than a year and my "baby food" coming from sources like John Piper, John MacArthur, Francis Chan, J.I. Packer, the Johanson's, and Clint (yes, I will throw my awesome mentors and pastor into the mix of those beautifully well known Christians) it should be understandable why my love for God is so deep and wildly reckless.
My classes yesterday were amazing, I cannot wait to really dive in deep with the reading and writing. And the whole praying before class thing is the coolest experience.
I only have a couple reservations. But I will be vague, as to try to find balance between transparency and unintentional gossip. One of my classes is a little sketchy, which was shocking. It will be a test of faith in the area of keeping humble (despite my intense background of teachers and mentors) and knowing that God has something for me. He teaches me through people who do not even believe in Him, so He will teach me through this class full of believers as well.
Meeting people is easy here. Developing relationships is difficult though. My group of friends back home really set a standard. They are so full of God it is consuming them completely. And they know me. They have seen me grow, they know my flaws and short comings but love me anyway. They constantly challenged me and aided in my growth. I am so scared to try to develop that here. I mean, I am petrified of it.
But I have found the area God is working on. My dependence on Him not being dependent on the relationships tangably around me. I need to love Him more and more whether I have people around me to build me up or not. He wants our relationship to be more intimate in that way.
This is the redeeming and exciting part of this transition. And this is where I am seeing a choice, to either focus on the fact that I haven't found a Jimmy, Jared, Jenn, Colin, Mikey, John Smith, Alto, etc replacement OR to focus on the fact that I have a lot of precious, uninterrupted time alone with Him. I have His word to aide me now. And I have prayer. I get to learn how to come to Jesus with my problems, concerns and worries and allow Him to provide the solutions. I do not need to go to my friends to seek advice and opinions to add to my own and then try to find His. I miss them all deeply. Those friendships are irreplaceable and even if this move causes so much change that I will never get a chance to see them again, the impact they had and continue to have is unmoved. And now, I am strong enough to walk with God alone, for this season.
"But what does it matter? The important thing is that in everyway, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice." Philippians 1:18
"And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:15 and 1/2-16
This is beautiful. What a heart for God you have! Double Amen to everything you said. :-)
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